Recently I was sent a question concerning my blog about a "Ministers Guide to Love and Marriage" and although I do not claim to be an authority I have contacted one of the opposite sex to obtain some information that may help you answer your question.
The question asked was...
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Reverend,
Maybe you can give me advice...
My wife is going through menopause, and her desire for sex is gone. She says it won't come back, either.
So what options do I have for intimacy?
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Women like men are all a little different in their physical makeup and go through a declining process and body change as they get older. Although I do not know the age of the woman we are in question about I do know that most women start menopause in their mid to upper 40s.
Menopause is an sudden elevation and decline of estrogen and progesterone which causes egg ovulation, dryness, mood changes, sweating and other emotions depending upon the individual.
My first recommendation is to consult a qualified female doctor who can prescribe the proper hormone medication if not already on it. Generally when the hormones are rebalanced and the hot flashes subside the body will then slowly begin to return to normal.
Women unlike men are like tea kettles and men are like microwaves. Other words women heat up more slowly sexually and men heat up very rapidly. Both must understand this and re instill the courtship that they used in the beginning that first brought them together. Sex is the end result of excitement, anticipation, and desire to have fun together and seal it with intimacy. This is God's gift to men and women under the umbrella of his blessing.
A very explicit e book about sex for husbands written by Robert Irwin has been recognized by Details magazine as the premier Christian sexuality expert and has been featured on national radio and television programs for his ability to teach men how to bring back the passion and frequency of the sex in their Christian marriages.
The book is "Sexual Skills for the Christian Husband"
His wife Susan Irwin also produces a book for the wife, Titled- "Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife"
There is still the needed romance, night out together, walk along the beach and buying a little gift to show the man's appreciation and understanding. Spouses entering this stage need to educate themselves and reevaluate their relationship.
Growing old together means changes even for men who can no longer maintain physical abilities to perform as they once did. They also begin to feel that they are losing their manhood, but just need to readjust their lifestyle to meet their changes.
For both, these are stages of life and will last maybe for a few weeks to months and sometimes a few short years as they change. A woman may feel irritable, afraid that she is losing her abilities as a woman and competing against younger women. The husband must take these things into consideration and use both medicine and romance to show that she is still desirable and wanted by her husband.
Just because you have grown older does not mean that the physical enjoyment that God created between a man and woman can no longer be restored. Most of the time I have found these to be problems in one or both individuals character and who become unwilling to work together as they change.
For example. When I had my heart attack I was afraid of physical exertion and believed for a short time that my days as a husband and as a man were coming to an end. My wife helped me reevaluate myself and reminded me that I was still the man she married 34 years before. After a short time with her helping me understand our past and future relationship I found my self as I was before the heart attack. Time does heal when we will let it.
Setting goals, objectives and planning will help during this period of time as well as when death, sickness and other troubles come your way. Growing old together means changes and changes means rebuilding, stimulating, and laughing, crying and praying together.
We have found that every ten years there is a new change. Don't let down on your personal appearance, those little notes and those quite times together. Patience, love and desire can be rekindled in a very sexy way between a husband and wife. Read Corinthians 7th chapter together and the book of "Song of Solomon"
Wishing you the best,
HeyLanny
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